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"Jesse"


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Episode Guide


Season One
September 24, 1998 - April 1, 1999
Consists of 22 half-hour episodes

1. 'A Side Of Chile' ("Jesse" - Pilot Episode)
First Aired:  9/24/1998
Series Premiere
Jesse Warner's life is turned upside down when Chilean Diego moves in next door.   Meanwhile, Darren Warner attempts to sell 8,000 unfinished garden gnomes.


2. 'Goober Up The Nose'
First Aired:  Aired 10/1/1998
Jesse's hopes for a really good first date with Diego gets ruined when a piece of candy catches itself in her nose, and she is taken to the emergency room.  The nurse there is none other than Kurt, who would return in Season Two as her arch-nemesis.  This is the first episode in which Carrie goes after Darren.


3. 'Bees Do It, Birds Do It, But Not In A Car'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 10/8/1998
Once again, Jesse is looking forward to a real date with Diego, but she ruins this one as well when she tells him a story about Little John thinking he's going to be his new father.  While his mother is away, Little John tricks his grandfather and uncles into giving him too much candy when he pretends to not know what sex is.


4. 'Live Nude Girl'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 10/15/1998
Jesse has a hard to believing Diego when he says that the naked woman in his studio is only a model, and not a romantic interest, so she gets her brother Junior to watch over them.  Darren is forced to move in with Little John, who is upset at the arrangement.


5. 'Boo! He's Back'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 10/29/1998
Roy, Jesse's ex-husband, calls her up, ruining plans she had with Diego.  After being out of their lives for seven years Roy wants to come back, and Jesse is worried when Little John really wants to see him.


6. 'The Methadone Clinic'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 11/5/1998
Roy watches Little John while Jesse accidentally insults the owner of the chi-chi art gallery who will decide whether or not Diego's art is shown there.  At the same time, Linda begins her crusade to get Darren to go out with Carrie.


7. 'The Kiss'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 11/12/1998
While Diego is away, Jesse and Roy play..they kiss.  Meanwhile, Carrie, Linda, Darren, and Frank(guest star Phil Buckman), go out on a double-date. 


8. 'The Cheese Ship'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 11/19/1998
An ailing Diego is invited to Jesse's Thanksgiving dinner, but things start looking bad when Roy is there as well.  Carrie's chances at getting Darren become a bit smaller when Linda becomes attracted to him as well.


9. 'Barko, The Holiest Dog In The World'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 12/10/1998
Diego becomes even more worried when Jesse begins to lean towards Roy.  Everyone else has to go watch Little John in a play.


10. 'Boo! He's Gone'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 12/17/1998
Diego discovers that Roy is with another woman, but Jesse won't listen until Junior finally speaks, and confirms Diego's story.  Roy is driven from the house.


11. 'The Best Possible Deal'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 1/14/1999
Jesse helps Diego look for a new car, but after he falls for a really expensive sports car, only Jesse can stop him from falling into the trap of the car salesman (Guest star David Faustino).  Meanwhile, now that Junior finally talks again, he and Darren are fighting it out for a pretty woman at the bar.


12. 'The Mischievous Elf'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 1/21/1999
Jesse returns to high school through night school, and is asked out by her teacher.   Diego is asked out by a student.  Jesse's date brings her to a role-playing game night, so she dumps him. 


13. 'My Casual Friend's Wedding'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 1/28/1999
Jesse becomes a maid of honor at one of her old classmate's wedding, but things take a turn for the worse when Jesse has to cover for Linda, who was making out with the groom before the wedding.  Linda, and every other woman at the wedding, eventually comes clean.  Back at the bar, Diego helps out when there are too many customers, but John Sr. doesn't like seeing him doing something good.   


14. 'Hickory, Dickory, Death'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 2/4/1999
Jesse mistakenly goes over to Diego's to go with him to some function, even though they are no longer together.  Diego, however, thought she wouldn't want to go, so he invited Gwen.  Jesse makes up a story about seeing a fire, and putting on a flame-retardant dress, and then sulks back to her house.  After seeing the end of a film-noire movie, she starts to day-dream about Diego and herself.  Diego is a private eye named Diamond with slicked back hair, and Jesse is a woman who protests she was framed in the murder of a woman named Gwen.  Carrie ends up being Diamond's secretary, Sunshine, Junior is a pianist, Linda is the bartender, and Darren is a drunk whose name Diamond can't remember.  Snapping out of her dream, Jesse and Diego have a fight when he comes over to get aspirin for Gwen, and later he comes back to apologize.   Jesse's dream-world and her real life don't play out the same, because Diego reminds her that she was the one who wanted to call it quits.


15. 'Crazy White Female'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 2/11/1999
Jesse is understandably surprised when Diego needs help to rid himself of Gwen.   Meanwhile, John Sr. meets a woman who he fell for some thirty years ago, an old classmate named Mary Ann.


16. 'Bar Remodel'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 2/18/1999
John Sr. leaves to climb Mount McKinley with Mary Ann, leaving the bar to his kids.   Junior is convinced he's going to die, and Jesse is so overwhelmed with running the bar that she fails a test, and kicks her brother's out of her house.  They eventually decide that they should help out with the bar, much to their sister's relief.


17. 'Touched By An Angel'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 2/25/1999
Darren dreams of turning the bar into a 'Charlie's Angels' themed one, but only if he can get his sister and her friends to dress up as 'Angels'.  Diego and Jesse get together for dinner, but Jesse is too nervous to enjoy it.


18. 'Cecil, The Angry Postman'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 3/4/1999
Jesse writes a letter to Diego, telling him how much she loves him, but doesn't intend on sending it.  Little John doesn't now that, so he mails it.  Jesse has to go to the post office, and confront a mailman who she angered just the day before.  When that doesn't work, she decides to try and grab the letter when the mailman drops it off.   She manages to get her arm through the slot, but then it is stuck.  Diego returns home, finds Jesse's arm, and then reads the letter.  He glues it shut and gives it back to her, and tells her he loves her too, after she's left.


19. 'The Parent Trap'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 3/11/1999
Diego's parents come for a visit, but when their plane gets delayed, Jesse goes to the airport instead of Diego, and picks up the wrong parents.  Diego and Jesse go back to the airport and pick up his real parents, and then go out to dinner, where things go wrong again, what with a man named Le Tigre pointing at everyone.  Jesse gets depressed, but Diego comforts her, telling her how he told his parents that he loves her.


20. 'Momma Was A Rollin' Stone'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 3/18/1999
When Jesse finds out that some other boy is roughing up Little John, taking his clothing, et cetera, she decides to go talk to the mother of this boy.  As it turns out, the mother is actually her mother, now Susan Foose (Lesley Ann Warren) and the boy is Little John's uncle!  The rest of the Warner clan is not as happy to see Susan, and are even less excited when Jesse says she is going to loan her some money.  She is only able to get together $1200.65, but she thinks that it'll be enough to get her mother back on her feet.  Instead, Susan intends to use the money to fly to South America.   Diego and Jesse rush to the airport to stop her, and Jesse has an emotional breakdown on the plane.  In the airport after the plane takes off, Jesse and Diego are looking over Jesse's cut leg, when all of the sudden her mother walks up.  She decided to stay.


21. 'Finders Keepers'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 3/25/1999
Darren starts a scavenger hunt at 'Drinkies', so Jesse and Diego team up, although Diego wants them to break up so they can win the Harley.  Jesse convinces him that they should work together, after telling him that she'll pose in a construction helmet.   While looking for a bug, they find a baby.  They take it to the police station, but the officer there, who Jesse once turned down nicely, says that it could be 5 or 6 hours before Child Services can be there.  So Jesse takes the baby home, and convinces her family that she should keep it, after Diego has them all come over and tell her she's crazy.  But they have to bring the baby back, which is somewhat emotional, and Jesse yells at the mother before finding out she was carjacked, and begged the carjackers to leave the baby alone.


22. 'I Do, I Think I Do'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 4/1/1999
Season Finale
Jesse is excited when she gets a scholarship for nursing school, but her excitement is dampened when she finds out Diego lost his job, and will be deported if he can't find another one.  He starts working at Der Biergarten, but he is given a notice that he only has 48 hours.  Linda tells Jesse she should marry him, but she says no.   Diego is able to find a job, but it is in California, and Jesse doesn't want to move. Alone with Diego, he pops the question, but she says no.

To Be Continued...


Season Two
September 23, 1999 - May 25, 2000
Consists of 20 half-hour episodes

23. 'Jesse's New Job'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 9/23/1999
Season Premiere
Diego and Jesse are at Diego's house, wearing different clothing, and Diego asks Jesse to marry him again, but she still says no.  Then we skip ahead four months, and Jesse gets a job assisting a nurse named Kurt, who is afraid of robots and says she takes up his precious time.  After forgetting Little John at school, she quits the job so she can go to his hockey game, but then talks to Linda, who is house-sitting for Diego and driving away anyone who is interested, decides she  has to go back.  Diego returns from California and pops the question again, with a ring and everything.  She says no, and Diego blows up, telling her how she said things were going too fast four months ago.   She tries to talk to him, but he says 'no' to her three times, before saying they are even and slamming the door.  Jesse then goes and gets her job back, after going over Kurt's head to Dr. Kozak.

NOTE:  New opening credits, and instead of the bus in the closing, there is an extra scene with Diego trying to get rid of Linda.


24. 'Driving Miss Jesse'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 9/30/1999
After her car breaks down, Jesse has to carpool with Dr. Kozak and Kurt.  When she wants to drive them, things get a little antsy when Little John's ant farm breaks and the ants take  up residence in the car, and on her passangers.  Meanwhile, Diego tries, unsuccesfully, to get rid of Linda. 

NOTE:  Extra scene is gone, back to the ole bus.


25. 'Students Get Flu; Carrie At Zoo; Monkey Throw Poo'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 10/7/1999
Jesse is stressed out from a flu epidemic, and Carrie's neverending requests to talk about a monkey.  Linda still won't leave Diego's house, and informs Jesse that he son is turning into...a geek.


26. 'Everything But The Grill'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 10/14/1999
Jesse throws a barbacue for her friends, but everyone else shows up as well.  Kurt and Danny, Diego, Little John and friends, and to top things off, Diego is still upset that she won't marry him.


27. 'Jesse vs. Kurt'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 10/21/1999
Kurt, upset that Jesse and Danny are getting friendly, stars a viscous rumor that Jesse steals things. Meanwhile, Linda is overjoyed in thinking that Diego is now hers, after he accidently sees her in the buff.


28. 'Jesse's Flat Tire'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 11/4/1999
Jesse's car gets a flat, and in the ensuing changing of the tire, Jesse and Diego get back together.  While Jesse wishes to keep this under wraps, Diego hids an engagement ring in something he cooks up for Jesse.  This can't turn out well...


29. 'A Woman's Perogative: The Jesse Warner Story'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 11/11/1999
Jesse tries hard to get Diego back by her side, and even goes as a proposal of her own, which Diego turns down.  Not yet finished, Jesse is convinced she can win him over with a very large, overly symbolic gesture.


30. 'L'eggo My Diego'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 11/18/1999
Jesse finds out that Diego was once engaged to Irma (Guest star Jacqueline Obradors), her new nemisis in her fight for Diego.  She also goes with Danny and Carrie on their first date, but ends up dancing with Kurt in order to leave them alone. 


31. 'The Christmas Party'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 12/16/1999
The title says it all, Jesse has herself a merry little Christmas party.


32. 'Jesse, As Nurse, Fills In: Diego Throws Ice At Children'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 12/23/1999
Jesse, as nurse, brings a squirrel back to life.  Diego, while trying to clear his driveway of snow, fights with Little John and  his friends in an impromptu snow war.


33. 'Kurt Slips, Niagara Falls'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 1/6/2000
Diego is startled when a simple trip to Niagara Falls with Irma turns into a wedding proposal by her, complete in a wedding dress.  Now knowing how it feels to be proposed to suddenly, he returns to Buffalo and apologizes to Jesse.  They get back together, and when an attending doctor asks her out, Jesse says no because of Diego.   Kurt manages to throw out his back while lifting a box.

NOTE: NewER opening credits.


34. 'Small Time Felon: The Jesse Warner Story, Part II'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 1/13/2000
Jesse's car is stolen, she gets another one from Linda's mechanic, but while out for a ride she notices her old car.  While attempting to show it to a police officer, she sees that the car is gone.  She sees it again later while out for another ride, somewhere else.  Sadly, the car doesn't survive.


35. 'The Rock'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 1/20/2000
Carrie and Jesse are ready and willing to go to their high school reunion.  Linda, however, isn't so excited.  She's worried what people will think, seeing as she doesn't think she's accomplished anything since graduation.


36. 'Jesse Gives Birth'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 2/3/2000
Jesse thinks back upon Little John's birth, after being informed by Diego that he wants to have seven children.  She admits that she wanted to call her son Axel Rose Warner, not John Warner. 


37. 'My Boyfriend Went To Chile And All I Got Was This Lousy Moustache'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 2/10/2000
Diego comes back from a trip to Chile with a moustahce, much to the disqust of Jesse.   She asks him to get rid of it, but he decides not to after Danny acuses him of being whipped.  Linda, a security guard at the hospital...well, you can see what'll happen.


38. 'Jesse's Coat A Useful Crutch, Diego's Kitchen Not So Much'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 2/24/2000
After discovering that nobody will believe her when she says she works at the hospital, Jesse gets herself a blue coat.  Meanwhile, Diego belives that Linda set his house on fire because she left a mess in the kitchen, when in fact it was his fault.


39. 'The Dump'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 3/2/2000
Jesse and Diego take a trip to the dump to try and find his passport, which was in the refrigerator they threw out.  Unable to find it, they are forced to give their tickets to Bermuda to Danny and Carrie.


40. 'Diego's First Sleep-Over'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 3/16/2000
While returning unexpecdely from a sleepover, Little John sees Jesse naked, because Diego is at his first sleepover, with Jesse.  Meanwhile, Carrie and Linda, boxing.   'Nuff said.


41. 'First Blood'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 5/25/2000
Upset that a male nurse who used to work at the hospital made  more money than she did, Jesse confronts Kurt.  She is told that the male nurse was a phlebotomist, meaning he could draw blood.  She decides to become one as well, but faints the first time she tries to draw blood.  Meanwhile, Diego isn't able to get the professership, so he has to share his studio with an annoying British painter named Dawson who critizes everything, and sleeps naked in the studio...on his back.  Jesse eventually is able to draw blood from Kurt, who is convinced she can't, and Diego gets fired after smashing a painting of 'Jesse Naked, On Canvas' over Dawson's head.


42. 'My Best Friend's Wedding'
First Aired:  Originally Aired 5/25/2000
Series Finale
Because he got fired, Diego is once again without a job, and he is going to be deported again.  In desporation, he weds Linda because, once again, Jesse said no.  She changes her mind, but it is too late, Diego and Linda are already husband and wife.